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Bankrupted Company Liquefies Assets

A Toronto-based corporation recently declared bankruptcy and liquefied the entirety of its assets, causing severe flooding along a narrow side street in the city’s financial district. Police have advised pedestrians to keep away from the area. The company in question, Foldman Stacks Ltd. and all its subsidiaries, had been experiencing significant difficulty in a troubled 2016 market, according to leaked information. Executives earlier this week decided to finally throw on their towels.

The results of the company’s decision will surely be sending waves through the domestic market for some time, experts say. Company spokespeople have mentioned that much of what was left in the various accounts at the time of liquidation actually had to be spent on chemical agents to properly achieve corporate solvency. Predictions indicate that troubles on an increasingly literal Bay Street may deepen during the fall, with other firms stocks also plunging. Shareholders say they are unhappy to have seen their investments sink in this way, but that the complementary water-wings were a nice touch.