This a guide to the subtleties of brewing potions essential to engineering students. Herein, you will learn to make three basic concoctions that can ensnare, accelerate, tolerate, integrate, differentiate, fortify, clarify, detoxify, heighten senses, and possibly improve the general well-being of the user.
Beware! These potions are only meant for those with robust constitution and pure hearts. Therefore, they should only be consumed by those who are able to wake up for a 9AM lecture and put up with TopHat without a Potion of Wakefulness (called “caffeine” in muggle-speak).
The Potion of Intellect
This potion enhances the user’s knowledge in a specific subject. It works on all levels of intellect; however, it is not recommended to consume this potion long-term.
- ½ cup EngSci blood (the older the EngSci, the stronger the brew). ECEs would suffice too.
- 20 Crushed leaves from a textbook on the subject.
- 1 hat of an imaginary vector.
- A splash of Wikipedia.
The Potion of Endurance and Wakefulness
This potion allows the user to gain endurance in many situations. What sort of situations? I… I am afraid I can’t divulge this information. To enhance concentration, drink this potion while listening to Lo-Fi Hip Hop beats.
- A dash of a Tim Horton’s double double. Those who have gazed upon the visage of Death itself may choose to use Gatorade.
- 1 flexor muscle from a student who arrives to class 45 minutes late
- 4 crushed fingers of an ECE 2nd-year student.
The Potion of Success
This wily concoction is really, really hard to make. If made correctly, it will bring great happiness to the user. Should it fail, the only known antidote is a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
- The bones of father faculty , you will resurrect our son marks.
- The hand mouse of the servant computer, willingly given, you will serve your owner.
- The blood ink of the enemy exam unwillingly taken, you will see your nemesis walk once again.