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BREAKING: Nation Founded on Principle of Representation Denies That Right to Millions

Breaking News out of Washington DC as it has just become apparent that the United States of America, a nation supposedly founded on the principle of ‘no taxation without representation’ has been taxing millions of citizens without giving them proper representation in the government.

That’s right! In a shocking twist, millions of US citizens living in Puerto Rico, DC, the US Virgin Islands, the Northern Mariana Islands, American Samoa and Guam have been paying federal taxes for decades while only having non-voting delegates in the House of Representatives and no representation whatsoever in the Senate.

The Toike Oike has yet to receive a comment from any of the US politicians we contacted, though we are sure they are shocked and appalled at this most shocking and appalling news that has shocked and appalled us.

In other news, an equally shocking new study suggests that Americans’ problem with authority figures may have something to do with the fact that the nation was founded by traitors who were then glorified. We’ll bring you the details of this new study as it becomes available.