After a record-low turnout for the most recent Engineering Society Officer elections, EngSoc has announced a proposed change to the elections process. Rather than continue to allow students to ignore their right to vote for their President, all interested candidates will now be required to report to the Nathan Phillips Square pond where the next President will be chosen by the Person in the Pond, a new Skule™ position to be chosen during Frosh week for the sole purpose of selecting the next President.
According to sources, whoever the Person in the Pond bestows the mighty sword Exclassibur on shall be declared the new President of the Engineering Society by divine providence. Though the University has announced that the blade is purely ceremonial, it is rumoured to be able to cut a student’s GPA in half with a single swipe.
Reception to the new system has ranged from indifference to strong opposition so far. “President? I didn’t know we had a President,” said one sleep-deprived ECE. “I thought we used a Prime Minister?”
“This new system is a complete farce,” said Dennis, a fourth-year industrial engineering student. “An aquatic weapon-gifting ceremony can’t give someone supreme executive power. I mean I can’t go around saying that I’m the King of Canada just because some angry swimmer threw a moistened Gladius at me… Not that that’s ever happened.”
The change to the election process does have at least one supporter in Clare, the only third-year mineral engineering student. “I think this change is great. It gives students in smaller disciplines a chance against students in larger disciplines who have their whole discipline already voting for them. Personally, I’m excited to put my name forward for President and see who the Person in the Pond chooses.”
It is unclear whether Clare’s support had anything to with the giant magnet behind her, though she claimed to have no idea how it got there.