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Girl Not Present in Conversation Needs to Have More Self-respect

Julie Freedham, 20, needs to have more respect for herself, according to sources. Classmates saw her at a bar Friday night wearing a tight dress and drinking a martini while laughing at jokes told by the man sitting next to her at the bar, and it was pathetic.

“It was just so sad,” said Katie Jones, who regularly sits behind Freedham in Introduction to Religion and had a very serious crush on Julie’s ex-boyfriend Matt. “Like, put some clothes on. God.”

Sandra Dee, Jones’ best friend, agreed. “It’s not like she’s stupid, or anything. I just don’t get why she’d go whoring around like that. That’s just an issue of feminism for me. Cover up already and get some self respect.”

The outrage worsened as Freedham exercised her autonomous will and participated in a consensual kiss with her male companion.

“Who just does that?” Jones was heard saying. “She must be so sad with her life. She really needs to get some confidence and stop throwing herself at guys.”

The drama peaked when Freedham and her companion left the bar together after Freedham decided, given her ownership of her sexuality and desire, that she wished to spend the night with him. The two took their leave while Jones and Dee made their outrage known to one another.

“I’m sorry, but that’s just so slutty,” Jones was heard saying while Dee nodded sagely in agreement. “I’m actually sad for her right now. Having no respect for yourself like that must suck.”