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Guns Are the Worst Thing to Happen to Humanity


It’s not a mystery: guns are one of the worst inventions ever created by humans. With a simple pull of the trigger, bullets strike their targets leaving a small hole with such speed that most don’t even realize they’ve been hit until they collapse from shock.

Gone are the good old days when getting killed simply meant having a meter-long blade impale your torso and be torn out along with all your internal organs, or having an entire leg or arm sliced off severing flesh from bone alike, or being knocked to the ground and having your face beaten repeatedly with a hammer until your skull and brain explode.

Before guns, only about 20% of the population could even effectively use weapons, since wielding a sword often meant being a large, bulky man. Who were we to take the power away from this group of people? Now that we have guns, the women, the elderly, and the frail all have equal footing! That’s five times the number of people who can now kill other people! That’s just not right.

And don’t even bring up hunting! Hunters these days are going around with their rifles, instantly killing animals with bullets to the brain and heart. It’s disgusting. Why can’t we go back to simpler times when hunters were hunters, and laid giant spring-loaded traps to break the legs of unsuspecting forest dwellers. They would be clutched by dozens of tiny sword-like teeth until they bled out or froze to death and were collected the next day at the hunter’s leisure. Where has our humanity gone since then?

War has only gotten more horrible and brutal since the introduction of guns. What was wrong with thousands of soldiers on each side colliding in a battlefield and hacking each other to pieces until one side ran out of guys to send? Nowadays soldiers have to hide behind cover and take wild shots at each other. You’re bound to cause collateral damage when you can’t look into the whites of your enemy’s eyes as the hope drains from their face.

Sometimes, bullets even get trapped inside their targets and have to be taken out surgically; that’s seriously messed up shit. Getting shot with an arrow never meant “losing” the arrow inside you. If the foot-long wooden shaft and one-way arrowhead weren’t enough to point you in the right direction, your wound would at least have the courtesy of getting horribly infected.

It’s pretty obvious guns are the cause of all death and suffering these days. Mass murders never happened before guns, and now it’s like they’re happening every week. The sooner we sweep these guns under the rug, the sooner we’ll live in a more peaceful and civilized society.