CRA HEAD OFFICE, OTTAWA – Officials at the Canada Revenue Agency announced early this morning that the farmer affectionately known by millions as ‘Old Macdonald’ is now under investigation for Employment Insurance Fraud.

“We have received multiple reports from concerned citizens that Ben Macdonald, a farmer from rural Ontario, has been fraudulently claiming Employment Insurance benefits for years,” said the Minister of National Revenue in a prepared statement. “We have begun the long process of auditing all of Macdonald’s previous EI applications and financial records to see if he has committed EI Fraud.”

“For years, Old Macdonald has claimed EI,” said a CRA official who spoke to the Toike on the condition of anonymity. “He would claim EI because he made 0 dollars. ‘EI-EI-O’ his applications would say. But we’ve heard reports from sources close to the farmer that his farm is filled with cows and chickens and dogs and sheep and pigs. Mooing and clucking and barking and bah-ing and oinking here and there and everywhere. He’s been up to this for decades. Some say he’s been claiming EI since 1917. It’s ridiculous!”

Neither Macdonald nor his lawyer responded to our many requests for comment.