Toike Oike Logo

Orange Dæmon Elected to High Public Office


Cultists rejoice across the world this month as the abominable result of an unusually successful arcane rite has managed to be voted into a prominent public office.

Achieving a position of unprecedented importance for one of its kind, the rare Orange Dæmon can only be summoned with a complex ritual involving small loans of a million dollars and free-flowing fluids provided by disreputable Slavic women.

Despite concerns voiced by some more conventional politicians, the victory reportedly came as a relief to many in the political establishment, as the Dæmon had previously failed to vow to accept an election defeat. After the announcement of the election results in November, many pundits voiced concerns which ranged from a popular uprising of “Dæmon Nation” to a dread army of cephalopods rising from the depths and enslaving humanity.

Having sought to field a candidate of their own this election, demon cultists fought fiercely this past year for recognition of their unique special interests and to highlight their colourful cultural identity in an increasingly multicultural country. Some issues that surveys of cultist communities have found to be of concern to cultists are the rising rates of vehicular manslaughter and the falling rates of sacrificable teenage virgins which are key to their practices.
When pressed for comment on the election, President Trump mentioned that he looked forward to working with the Dæmon, citing the many similarities between them.