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Point-Counterpoint: The Earth Is Flat vs. No, it’s just Saskatchewan

If the earth was some rock spinning through space, then wouldn’t we all just get thrown off and die? The earth is clearly a large disc that all the other cosmic bodies orbit. The snowy arctic mountains are in the centre and the seas surround it, and a massive wall of ice borders the edge. You don’t hear about the edge of the world because it is a dangerous place and people do not make it back alive.

 

‘Round these parts the land is flat enough that it defines who we are. Last week my girlfriend left me and walked out with half my stuff. It’s been five days and I can still see her leaving if I look out the window. The beer hasn’t been carbonated since 1982 and all the music is sung by this old creep who’s always in A minor. And don’t get me started on my wife.

 

The bottom of my shoes are flat. The bottom of buildings are flat. A map is flat. Your concept of gravity still exists but cannot pull the earth into a sphere because the plane at which the earth accelerates is so large it can be assumed to be endless.

 

About the only things that aren’t flat around here are the roads. You’d think for a town as flat as our that the roads would be easy to drive on. But aside from winter, the other season is road construction. Sometimes you’ll hit a pothole and the truck will jump up and you might get to see Alberta.

 

Don’t believe globes, that market is just another money grabbing scheme from the government.

 

Sponsored article by The Phat Earth Society