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Pre-2010 Internet: This Shitshow’s About to Hit the Fan

When I was a kid, Apple didn’t exist. Or, it did, it just wasn’t popular. People got lost or had flat tires and other emergencies without having a cellphone. MTV was the go-to channel for pop culture and decent music. Bush flailed about, and Slim Shady was at his peak. 

My, my, how times have changed. 

Dear reader, I want you to know that us hoomans are psychologically predisposed to recall episodic memories in a ‘rose-coloured’ light. See, I used a bunch of big words there so you won’t question whether its true or not. 

Prior to the 2010’s, all was quiet on the internet frontier. That’s a lie but go ahead and believe it anyways. The truth is, if you don’t remember the early days of the internet, then you need to check your privilege. Chunky text and annoying pop-up ads, messy file systems, and social media so primitive and clunky it was like watching clothes in the washing machine/dryer. 

I’ve been told that the embryonic international web was a filing system of information for librarians. Part of me wishes it had stayed as that encyclopedic work-in progress. But, OH NO. It just had to go and implode. I guess it’s fair, we’re all on equal footing now.

REMEMBER WHEN WE ALL THOUGHT THAT STUPIDITY WAS CAUSED BY LACK OF ACCESS TO INFORMATION. WELL, THAT WASN’T IT. PLEASE TAKE US BACK. 

Sorry, lost my cool. Early internet? Shitshow. Did it improve? Nah, it just hit the fan. 

But whatever kiddo, you’re probably not even reading this since you’re too busy trolling Plebbit on your iPad. 

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