Galactic unrest has plagued the Milky Way as a protest from the Black Holes Matter group ran through the night, shutting down all transportation through the Kuiper Belt.
“Enough is enough. This brutality must end.”
That was the common theme amongst protesters last night. BHM leaders cited cluster-wide systemic discrimination as an urgent problem that galactic politicians are not addressing.
“The justice system isn’t working for us,” proclaimed one BHM protestor. “Hawking radiation should be indiscriminate, but look around you. All you see is quiet, unsuspecting members of our community being unfairly profiled and attacked by Hawking radiation. It’s slowly eroding our people. How are we supposed to get ahead when so many of our youth are being dissipated into the vacuum of space? You have all of these people who think they can stereotype us into one group but they forget we’re individual regions of space-time.”
Asked for a possible solution, a BHM leader stated, “I don’t know about a solution, but I know we need some change. General Relativity isn’t working for us and you already know Newton’s Law of Gravitation was never going to be a permanent solution.”
The recent protests did not commence without controversy. Local community members expressed concerns over the activist group’s motives and goals.
A 47-year-old male living just 3 light years from the recent protest commented, “They whine about unfair profiling, but maybe if they stopped infinitely compressing entire communities and destroying everything in their path… they’d have more luck! They’re ruining our peaceful, suburban solar system.
“Look, I don’t think they’re bad phenomena, per se. I just have a problem with black hole culture… I mean, look at what they name their kids. NGC 4889, S5 0014+81…what are they thinking?”
BHM activists have repeatedly addressed the above claims in past interviews, stating that it is unfair that they should be expected to change a fundamental part of their identities simply to conform with other interstellar masses.
Scholars have also commented on the potential long-term impact of these strained space-time relationships. A professor at the University of Alpha Centauri for Political Economy offered his view on the situation.
“What we’re seeing now is a phenomenon that the academic community has termed ‘White Flight’. In fear of the increasing presence of black holes in their surrounding community, you’re seeing several white dwarf stars migrating to nearby suburban clusters.”
When asked for comment, Andromeda presidential candidate Robert Orangeback called for increased galactic security and took the opportunity to promote his platform.
“This violence is destroying our homes and it’s the working class people who are paying for it. Now more than ever, it’s clear that we need to build a wall along the Sombrero Galaxy border. The livelihood of our galaxy depends on it.”