In an unexpected appearance on Tim the Enchanter’s Wake Up with Tim or I’ll Feed You to the Rabbit of Caerbannog, Sir Elfrid Bedevere, known for his time as King Arthur’s wisest and most trusted knight during his quest for the Holy Grail, announced the release of his new book: Understanding the World Through Logical Reasoning.
“Well, I’ve always been willing to share my expertise with anyone who’s asked for it,” said Sir Bedevere in his interview with Tim. “But not enough people were asking. A few months ago, I decided that I’d seen enough of people throwing so-called witches into lakes to determine whether or not they were witches. Right then, I decided to write this book in order to truly enlighten as many people as I can.”
According to sources close to Bedevere, he’s truly poured the entirety of his decades of scientific experience into this novel, extending beyond the topic of efficient witch identification into such topics as astrophysics, battle strategy, and, perhaps most peculiar, duck anatomy.
“Yes, people will sometimes see me and want to talk about weighing women to see if they’re witches or about the shape of the Earth. By the way, based on the way the tides move backwards and forwards, we can easily conclude that the Earth has some sort of concavity, making it banana-shaped. But my true passion is the study of ducks. You see, we know that witches float because they are made of wood. But ducks are not made of wood, nor are they made of ice or dozens of apples. I have therefore devoted much of my life, and four chapters of my new book, to the study of ducks in particular. Such fascinating creatures with such an interesting reproductive system.”
Fortunately, Bedevere knows that there are two animals that require their own books to fully study and intends to do just that in preparation for his next two books: Swedish Moose and Where to Find Them and Life of the Llama.
“Moose and llamas are just so fascinating to me. The majesty, the ferocity, the soft hair. I’ve wanted to get the chance to write about them since…well since I kept on seeing them come up at the start of my script.”