Toike Oike Logo

Issue: February 2016

Knock-Off Coffee Shops Trending in Chinatown

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

As if we couldn’t already get a cheaper version of anything in Chinatown, knock-off coffee shops have been cropping up all around Toronto’s West End. Only for the most penny-pinching of caffeine addicts, these “cafés” are a shining example of the shameless brand rip-offs we (and our wallets) have grown to love. For instance, Smell […]


5 Game of Thrones Fan Theories You Actually Won’t Believe

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

After 50 aired episodes, 4451 printed pages and some of the longest hiatuses a fandom has ever seen, a lot of possible (and impossible) fan theories for Game of Thrones and its accompanying novel series have been presented to the mainstream crowd. These are just a few of them: 1)  Sandor Clegane is actually a […]


Opinion: Addressing White Walker Privilege

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Recently, I’ve read some SJWs’ tumblr posts whining about White Walker privilege. These so-called fighters for “equality” baselessly attack our rights to make the world white with snow and mobilize armies of Wights to kill all others. I hope this article will address their misguided complaints and provide an example of the courage we should […]


Toike Writer Writes Overly Repetitive and Redundant Written Article for the Toike

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

A Toike writer for the University of Toronto’s satirical newspaper has written an extremely redundant, and occasionally downright repetitive, article for the Toike Oike, the paper they write for as a columnist. This hopeful satirical writer for the Toike Oike, a satirical newspaper of which the writer is a member, wrote the overly redundant article […]


Ask an Artsci!

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Dear Annie, I’ve been having this throbbing pain in my chest, and a sharp pain in my right arm. My friends keep telling me to see a doctor, but I dunno… What do you think I should do?         – Diane N. Tsik Well, Diane, it certainly sounds to me like you’re literally dying right […]


Political Hashtag Destroying America

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Democratic frontrunner Bernie Sanders has drawn record breaking approval rates, despite being blatantly ignored by mainstream media. Sanders’ minions have turned to Twitter to voice their support, rallying behind #FeelTheBern. While it has generated massive traction, this marketing campaign has also had some unintended consequences. In what the Sanders campaign has called “a gross misunderstanding”, […]


The Red Final – A Tale of Power, Betrayal, and Death

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Weeks have gone by since the midterm. The midterm where everyone had seen the test the night before and prepared answers for it. One student betrayed the trust of the professor, and took photos of it during office hours while his back was turned. Since then, autumn has left the University of Toronto, and winter […]


Mold Growing in Skule Servers Due to Dank Meme Excess

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Many participants in Godiva’s Quest this January experienced the terrible misfortune of the site going down. A deeply penetrating investigation into the matter found both sites had crashed due to a mold outbreak in the Skule servers. The cause of the sudden growth was traced back to a folder full of dank memes, which had […]


8 Things that People Who Don’t Watch Game of Thrones Know About Game of Thrones

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

As a group of Toike writers (under heavy judgment of our co-writers because we don’t watch Game of Thrones), we have managed to give you a list of things that we know about Game of Thrones, even though we haven’t even watched a single episode. Everybody Dies It was obvious that there was a lot […]


George R. R. Martin Confirms Half-Life 3

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Famed deadline-hater George R. R. Martin has  officially confirmed that the long-awaited Half-Life 3 will be released in the coming months. Martin hasn’t specified exactly when the release will be; only that it will be soon, and that the game will be everything that fans were hoping for. Up to 3 million fans are ecstatic, […]


Next Page »