Plan Backfires Horribly, Leads to Gatro-Intestinal Nightmare
Recent reports of a predator drone spotted near a children’s playground have been confirmed by witnesses and security tapes. The Obama administration has already faced criticism since the reports appeared, but the Pentagon has neither confirmed nor denied the presence of the drone thus far. Locals are outraged by the disturbing presence at their community […]
It all started when a young gentleman named Jack Swoir approached the Toike in order to publicize his story of celibacy earlier this month. To celebrate the end of exams, he started going out to the pubs and getting smashed almost every night. Having been surrounded by dozens of people of the female variety, he […]
A farmer in Southern Ontario recently announced his discovery of a new vegetable, the wikileek. Grown only in a special type of manure believed to be bull shit, the wikileek is said to be the next superfood with hipsters and health nuts (which have thus far been difficult to distinguish) buying out entire stocks of […]
CEIE to Include Complementary Lubricant Office
Shoddy Construction Found to be at Fault
“Just don’t drink it,” recommends Dye Station Manager
