Ever since film was invented, it has been a staple of popular culture. And some films are lucky enough to gain massive fanbases. Perhaps the most well-known example is Star Wars. The original Star Wars trilogy swept many moviegoers off their feet, and created a massive fanbase for the series. And who could blame them? […]
THE MIND OF LACHLAN MURDOCH, PROBABLY HELL EVENTUALLY – According to credible sources who are definitely not just the neighborhood dogs that talk to me on my morning power walks, the DEMONcrats and their co-conspirators in the “scientific community” discovered a cure for COVID-19 months ago and decided to hide it so they could kill […]
This operation was undertaken at a time when the Freemasons were at the peak of their influence. This was an operation that left the community shaking and reeling. This operation is about the first female Freemason in history and how she joined the ranks and unmasked of one of the most powerful, exclusively male secret […]
Toronto, ON — The Toike is dead. Long live something else. Sure, we won a newspaper bracket on a meme page, signalling that we are the alpha paper. But for how long? We’re just The Cannon with dick jokes. We’ve been superseded in virtual popularity by The Boundary, an ArtSci paper from Vic that doesn’t […]
It was a breezy day as Brenda Turnwether stood up on the short hill, staring at the long row of white blades spinning on top of the nearby hill, before raising the spinning toy up to her eye. “You see?” she asked. “A perfect fit.” Ms. Turnwether stands in the middle of a typhoon of […]
Long story short, no, I don’t think this was a coincidence. The Varsity used to hope their emails found me well. And, you know what? They generally did. I mean, sometimes they found me stressed out in the EngSci common room studying vector calculus and fluid mechanics for a final that I would eventually fail, […]
The United States has voted, and the Toike Oike’s team of pollsters, data scientists, witch doctors, and meth addicts have crunched the numbers. By our final calculations, we are proud to project that former Vice President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. has been elected President of the United States. Although undoubtedly a close race, our methodology […]
Ketaji, is till date one of India’s most revered figures and notable freedom fighters. He was the commander of a team of people, dedicated to basically making sure that all the colonizers finally knew who the fuck they were dealing with. Despite this, his life and achievements are shrouded in the mystery of his demise. […]
Alright people, I don’t know how long I’ve got. They’re coming for me. I know it. I just know it. Because I know that they’ve been hiding things from us. And they know that I know. And I know they know I know. And I plan on exposing them for the puppeteers they are. Let […]
The following is from the desk of Dick Hunter, Private Eye: You may be wondering where the regular monthly VSC article is located in this newspaper- I’ve personally searched up and down every page, seeking every cavorteous clue as to the “Virgin” Sex Columnist’s whereabouts, to no avail. Perhaps I’ve scared the VSC off with […]
