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Rog and Dick Discuss Parliamentary Procedure

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

This one-time only column features the titillating discussion between the sons of former British MP Albert Percival Corningsbee III, Roginald and Richard Corningsbee from Shropshire and Nottingham respectively. This column is brought to you by Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth II – like Queen Elizabeth I if Queen Elizabeth I, um, got busy. Rog: Good […]

Toike Take – London’s Worst

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

This column features the 3 worst people, places or things (Nouns, for those of you who failed grade 4) in London, England this month, personal bias definitely included. 3. Piccadilly Circus. What do you think this is? No, really. Give me your best guess of what Piccadilly Circus is. Chances are, if you’ve never been […]

QUIZ: Are you watching Love Island or are you just having a stroke?

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

Describe your vision.  Everything looks blurry. I think I am seeing double and am possibly losing sight in my left eye.  Everything looks orange. All the women I see either have lip fillers or are in a mild stage of anaphylactic shock. There is so much hairless, glistening flesh that I am quite certain I […]

BREAKING: UK CLIPS IRELAND ON EXIT FROM EU

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

DUNDALK, COUNTY LOUTH – At approximately 2:30AM an emergency bulletin from the Irish Department of Impending Doom was published on social media:  “NORTHERN IRELAND HAS PHYSICALLY SEPARATED FROM THE REST OF THE ISLAND, ROTATED 40 DEGREES, AND IS CONTINUING ON A NORTHWESTERLY TRAJECTORY. SATELLITE IMAGES SHOW THE REST OF THE UK IS FOLLOWING SUIT. CORNWALL […]

Queen Elizabeth Caught Saying “Cum” In Newly Released Video

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

In a scandal the British tabloids have quickly begun referring to as “Cumpocalypse,” the Queen has been caught saying the word “Cum” in a 1999 video which was accidentally attached to a Buckingham Palace press release Friday. News outlets quickly obtained copies of the video before it was deleted, and the video has been shown […]

India begins colonisation of the United Kingdom

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

Following the outcome of Brexit, the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi, has announced the formation of a Chartered Trading Company, the “North Seas Trading Company”, for the sole purpose of the colonization and development of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. “These people are uncivilized savages,” stated Hari Mukherjee, the Indian Foreign Minister, while reviewing […]

Norm and Gourd Discuss Pumpkins and Halloween

Posted on: November 10th, 2019

This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by Sobey’s. Sobey’s  – like No Frills, but with frills.   Norm: Hi, I’m Norm McLuhan, and this is my brother, Gord –  Gord: Hi there. Norm: – and today we’re gonna discuss, uh, […]

Scheer Makes ‘It’ Movie Series Rebranding Part of Platform

Posted on: October 9th, 2019

YOUNGSTOWN, ALBERTA – Early this month, Andrew Scheer continued his push to solidify support in the Western provinces as he spoke with residents of the rural communities of South-Eastern Alberta, including Youngstown, Cereal, Spondin, Big Stone and Sheerness. Despite the fact that all of these rural communities will almost certainly vote in favour of Scheer’s […]

“He Who Passed The Sentence, Swings the Sword.”

Posted on: October 9th, 2019

The cold bite in the air cannot be ignored. The faithful bannermen of the Parliamentary Ethics Committee are gathered in a circle around a dark wooden plinth, their solemn mood contrasted starkly by the tempestuous whipping of their coats about their shins. Their leader, Mario Dion stands at the head of this party, his eyes […]

“No collusion, no obstruction,” says Trudeau on SNC-Lavalin

Posted on: October 9th, 2019

Following the release of the long-awaited Dion Report on the SNC-Lavalin affair, opponents of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau are calling for a motion of no confidence to remove him from 24 Sussex Drive. The report accuses Trudeau of unethically influencing the upcoming general election in Quebec. However, the Prime Minister maintains that he has only […]