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Toike take – Toronto’s Worst

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

This column features the 3 worst people, places or things (Nouns, for those of you who failed grade 4) in Toronto this month, personal bias definitely included.   Skating at Nathan Phillips Square– It’s almost that time of year again: crowds of people skating in circles and taking cheesy pictures in front of the ‘Toronto’ […]

Choke Me, Dunder Mifflin Daddy

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

Ok kiddos, things are gonna get weird in here real quick, so leave if that makes you uncomfortable. I’ll wait. Are we alone? Good. Lemme start by saying that I know who you are, Toby Flenderson. You know what I’m talking about, you dirty depressed Dundee-less dingus. You’re really gonna make me say it? Fine. […]

Disney as a Personality Trait

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

Yooooooo my fahmmms. Why is this italicized? Hold on.  There we go. Fixed that.  Anyways I want to talk with you today about those annoying zombies. Y’know, zombies. You probably have one in your life. Scratch that – you probably have SEVERAL. These zombies feed on content. And no, not juicy over-the-top satirical Toike Oike […]

How to Skirt Around Intellectual Property Laws as an Up-and-Coming Fan Fiction Author

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

Just do it. Who cares. I would tell you to try to not over-do it but you probably will anyways so please at least just respect women. Thanks. 

Kronk as a Feminist Icon 

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

My dear friend, what are the defining traits of feminism? Some may say empowerment, others radical compassion, and still more that it’s a social movement originating from humble origins. All of these opinions are of course true, and it’s important to note that feminism is not defined by any one characteristic, but rather, it’s objective. […]

M&M’s Ranked by Fuckability

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

Hello friends and welcome to another list where we rank the objective sexiness of popular candies and other foods. As you know, last month, we determined that Almond Joy is the sexiest coconut-based candy bar on the market, narrowly beating out Bounty. This month, we’re going to rank the 6 M&M spokes-candies based on their […]

Rowling announces latest book in the Harry Potter series; says it will outshine Wattpad fanfiction

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

Rowling, author of the famous Harry Potter series, has announced in her latest press release, that the latest Harry Potter book – Harry Potter and his Forbidden Dark Desire for Draco Malfoy – will be soon out on shelves. Rowling is quick to add that “this book is written specifically to outshine Wattpad fanfiction”, which […]

Norm and Gord Discuss…

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by Tumblr. Want to avoid all the politics and just focus on the fan art depicting your favourite fictional characters in some, how should we say this, less than PG positions and scenarios? Try […]

Opinion: Textualism is Just Constitutional Fan Fiction

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

With the appointment of Amy Coney Barrett to the United States Supreme Court, the highest court in the USA has dramatically shifted towards a more textualist (or originalist) interpretation of the Constitution. But should we really be letting Constitutional fan fiction become legal precedent for decades to come? Now, you might be thinking that I’m […]

Peppa Pig Fans Outraged Over Unstereotypical Outfit

Posted on: December 27th, 2020

It’s a girl, it’s a pig, it’s- a female pig wearing pants?  That was the non-gender conforming sight in the “Peppa Pig” show last Saturday morning that greeted regular viewers whilst enjoying their usual baby food and bottled milk, to the horror of many passionate fans. “I was getting ready to start my weekend with […]