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Hot Box Prices Reach All-Time High

Posted on: January 15th, 2018

The price of boxes on the open market has continued to skyrocket, finishing 4.20% above their opening price since just last week. “Boxes are hot right now, ” said Blaise D’ete, a foremost expert in the field. “And hot box prices mean that there’s an increasing demand for anything you can put in those boxes. […]

The Black Box Method Proven

Posted on: January 15th, 2018

As the demographic of engineers continue to constantly change, we at the Toike Oike were curious to see if the black box method was still the most popular way to identify the functions of a problem. In a surprising twist, the popularity of this method has only shot through the roof. “It’s just such a […]

Trump Attempts to Box in North Korea with Aggressive Statements

Posted on: January 15th, 2018

Mistakenly Boxes Himself in Instead With tensions rising in Eastern Asia in the wake of North Korea’s nuclear missile threats, American President Donald Trump has taken it upon himself to resolve the problem in his own fashion. Mr. Trump’s strategy revolves around continuing any sort of North Korean aggression through threat of swift American intervention, […]

Stock Exchange Boiling Over

Posted on: October 22nd, 2017

Bay street is overflowing with investors urgently clamoring to make sense of the fluctuations in the stock market this week. Already Brown Exchange Energy Funds (BEEF) stock is going down the drain: the company has recently faced major public criticism for its high amount of methane emissions and the CEO’s recent death due to Creutzfeldt-Jakob […]

McDonald’s Introduces New Inexpensive Foodstuff

Posted on: October 22nd, 2017

WINNIPEG, MB In response to the ever-growing human population and the subsequent stress on the food production chain, McDonald’s has introduced a new product – the “100% Canadian” hamburger patty, dubbed “Foylint Green” by the company’s food science department. “In our attempt to decrease our carbon footprint, we’ve begun to phase out beef in our […]

The Launch of Uber Celery

Posted on: October 22nd, 2017

Ride sharing Juggernaut Uber has recently revealed plans for the new off-shoot from their main app, and they’re calling it: Uber Celery. “Uber celery is going to change the way you think abou celery” says Uber CEO Data Khosrowshahi. “There’s an imbalance in the world between the people who have celery, and the people who […]

Perfectly Human Elon Musk is Busy with Perfectly Human Cars

Posted on: September 24th, 2017

LOS ANGELES — Social media is abuzz today as noted industrialist and investor Elon Musk presented the state- of-the-art Tesla Model 3 at a corporate showcase yesterday evening. Stunning the crowd with his newest technological marvel, Musk utilised his “nerdy” charisma to the fullest by frequently referencing jokes whose punchlines cast him as an alien. Anecdotally, […]

Virgin Galactic Almost Ready to Commercial Space Travellers

Posted on: September 24th, 2017

Commercial space carrier Virgin Galactic has once again claimed they are “very close” to being able to o er their full body of travel services to customers. Admittedly, this has been reported as imminent every couple of years without any signi cant leaps being made, but CEO George Whiteside has assured skeptics that this time the […]

Transformers Review

Posted on: September 24th, 2017

After several years of product revision and company restructuring e orts, Cybertron Electronics nally delivers a line of quality products that hobbyists of all ages will enjoy. The flagship model, named “Bumblebee” delivers an extensive 60V output with an energy e ciency of almost 94%. While the AC output is kept clean by a top-of-the-line […]

7 ways to tell you’re in space

Posted on: September 24th, 2017

Life can be confusing, and today you’re having a particularly bad day: you’re afraid you might be in outer space without even realizing it. Luckily, The Toike Oike now has seven sure re ways to confirm that you are no longer on Earth. 1) You can’t breathe That’s odd. You’ve tried taking a deep breath […]