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Nintendo to Open Super Mario Brothels Worldwide

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

Hot off the heels of their relatively recent portable blockbusters Pokémon GO, Super Mario Run, and of course, Pokémon Sun and Moon, Nintendo has decided to make another bold move by opening a line of Super Mario Brothels where legal worldwide. These locations will aim to satisfy visitors with workers dressed as their favourite characters […]

Stoned Ranger Challenged to Duel at High Noon

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

A local gunslinger known throughout these here parts as the Stoned Ranger has been challenged to a duel tomorrow at High Noon. The challenger, one young upstart goin’ by the name o’ Puffalo Bill, clarified shortly after initiating the duel that by “High Noon,” he actually meant just a little after quarter past four in […]

Midwest doctor under scrutiny after using cacti as acupuncture

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

While the recent dry spell in the Midwest and burning heat of the sun have been uncomfortable for most, in severe cases, extreme sunburn, heatstroke and muscle aches have become the norm. Perhaps some of you may be suffering in silence in the dustiness of your homes while your dear friends find relief with our […]

Spaghetti Westerns in Fact 20% Linguine

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

An incredible discovery by Western University’s Department of Carbohydrate Culture and Starch Studies has revealed a dark secret about a beloved film genre. Studies and analyses performed by the renowned Professor Leeroy Jenkins, a devout Pastafarian and avid gnocchi-nosher, have shown that Spaghetti Westerns are, in fact, 20% linguine on average. “I first noticed this […]

Local Scientist Creates Cow-Boy

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

In an unprecedented discovery, a scientist on the outskirts of a local village known only as Dr. Darkenblatt has managed to create a cow-boy: a half-cow, half-boy boy. The cow-boy formerly known as Darren has the lower body of a cow and the torso of a boy, sewn together with expertise one would only expect […]

Local Saloon’s Event Theme Deemed Culturally Insensitive

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

A popular local saloon, Studs, has recently come under fire for their decision to host a First Nations-themed event this past week. Members of local tribes have called the event a gross appropriation of their cultural heritage, with non-Natives at the party flagrantly flaunting ceremonial headdresses, footwear, and bottles of moonshine replete with signed pieces […]

Cowboys Demand NFL’s “Dallas Cowboys” Name Change

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

The Dallas Cowboys have come under fire from real life cowboys claiming their team’s name is cultural appropriation and offensive to the real men and women who call themselves cowboys (and girls). “Honestly it just makes me feel sadder than a horse with no saddle,” said John ‘Big Buck’ Brown, a 5th generation cowboy. “To […]

Controversy Sweeps Nation as Historic Tumbleweed Legislation is Passed

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

Prime Minister Trudeau lit the country ablaze last night, as tumbleweed legislation finally passed through the House of Commons at midnight. Local individual rights and medical usage of tumbleweed “enthusiasts” have come out in full support of the historic bill. “This is a step towards freedom as our founding fathers intended. I’m glad our country […]

Wild-West WebMD

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

The leading source for lawful and dadgumit! decent health and medical information Dysentery Symptoms: Disembowelment via the anus. Description: You can’t miss this ruthless pest of an ailment! If you’ve been pioneering west recently, you might find dysentery making a downright explosive appearance. Treatment: This infamous sickness is easily combatted with a big swig of […]

Medsci Outlaws Strike Again

Posted on: January 8th, 2017

It has been announced in a press release that the Sheriff Attiliator has just put an end to another raid by the MedSci outlaws on the engineering buildings this past Thursday. It is believed that the MedScis wanted to reach the Engineers’ beer reserves at the heart of Studs, the local four-star saloon. Raids have […]