by BetterThanSnickers Time travel, the next frontier after space, the oceans, and global warming. It’s a wonderful sci-fi concept I’m sure has been done to hell and back and would send us to hell in real life! Luckily, we exist in the year 2026, so there’s no reason to time travel anyway! But what if […]
By Marcilla Karnstein Just upgraded! Someone please buy these super cute antiques! Unfortunately I have run out of space in my attic for them, but I would be overjoyed to see them go to a loving home. They are all still functional and in good shape. Strictly First come first serve DM IF YOU ARE […]
by Xxfreakybloggergirl123xX It all started fairly normal: I was at the mall, hoping to pick up a copy of Haunting Adeline, since I had just finished the audiobook (review pending). I only intended for it to be a quick trip, but a group of masked men quickly descended from the skylight in the ceiling, glass […]
by Piano Player Anybody who has suffered through piano lessons is probably familiar with the name Frédéric François Chopin. If you’ve met any piano player at the intermediate level or higher, they (like me!) likely won’t shut up about him, so you won’t need any exposition. For those readers who actually had a life, Chopin […]
By Dr. John Harvey Kellogg For those of you who are unfamiliar or require introduction, the Virgin Sex Columnist is traditionally a column used to give advice to those wishing to begin their foray into sexual acts. However, true to this Toike theme, I, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, have been summoned to illuminate the Toike […]
AriesHave you considered being less hot-headed? Less quick to act and quicker to chase? Nah, neither has the mako shark. Apparently they’ve got real fast swimmers – no wait, they ARE fast swimmers so flippity flop over to grab a chill pill. TaurusAhh you fucking narcissist you. This month, the 7th house is in the […]
Down 1. H2O Island 2. Great ____ 3. Biggest Shark 7. My favourite Disney movie 9. Biggest ocean 10. Jaws 12. This entire species needs veneers 15. Shylock Across 1. That extinct shark that people think is hiding in the deep, deep ocean 4. Sharks don’t have these 5. Popular song 6. Not a screw […]
You hear it in the halls, it bounces off the walls; it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue and you feel it in your balls: “the Toike has jumped the shark.” Now, you might be thinking: “<name of author>, I haven’t heard this a single time!” Well, open your ears and think with your eyes. […]
It was a comfortable 20 degrees Celsius in Las Vegas when my flight landed. By the time my cab pulled into the front driveway at the Venetian, that number had gone up to a balmy 28. Despite the heat, my whole body shivered, goosebumps covering every inch of my arms. After weeks of waiting for […]
Sharkboy and Lavagirl debuted in the cult classic film, called – you guessed it – Sharkboy and Lavagirl. In this popular cinematic tale, the duo defeats their enemies in a series of events I really couldn’t summarize, even after reading the Wikipedia page several times. Just know that Sharkboy almost died like, twice, via electric […]
