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Agriculture Enrollment at All-Time High

Applications for University of Saskatchewan’s agricultural science program have hit an all-time high this year. Jonathan Maerys, recruiter for the program, offered the following update: “Registration for the 2019-2020 school year began on October 17, and already we have seen a sizable wave of applicants. Last year, we saw a total enrollment of 6 students into first year. This year, however, we’ve seen a 420% increase in our number of applicants. Historically, we haven’t seen this much interest in our program since the Great Dust Bowl of the 1930’s.”


William Nelson, head of the University of Saskatchewan College of Agriculture and Bioresources, reported that enrolment in AGR420 “Hemp and You: the Wonderful World of Cultivation” had increased at a rate of 84 students a week for the past 5 weeks.


“I have no idea what in blazes is going on with these kids these days,” said the mustachioed expert on the industrial applications of hemp fibres. “Why are they so excited about hemp? We’ve offered this course for 109 years, and enrolment has never exceeded 12 people. Guess they’re into sturdy, affordable clothing and ropes.”


Involvement in the school’s sauna-based fight club has risen as well, with hundreds of students joining USask’s Hot Boxing Club, while it seems that every residence on campus has started a gardening club. 6 residence buildings have recently installed climate-controlled hydroponic farms in the basement. No residence was willing to give the Toike a tour of their facility.


Maerys is enthusiastic for the future of the program. “It seems that Canadian youth are once again taking an interest in cultivation. Here at U Saskatchewan, we’re training the growers of the future.”