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Canadian Forces to Use ‘Because I Am A Girl’ Camouflage

Representatives for the Canadian forces have announced that soldiers deployed overseas will soon be equipped with the latest in camouflage technology. Developed in the heart of Toronto, a new uniform is designed to make military personnel almost undetectable.

“We’re incredibly proud of this breakthrough,” said Joy Vasquez, head researcher on the project. “Like many of our critics, we were skeptical about a simple vest and fistful of pamphlets warding off danger in volatile countries, but you can’t argue with results.”

The research team was so confident in their product, in fact, that they have been testing it in the downtown core of Toronto for nearly a year now.

“At first, people would stop and talk out of hardwired Canadian politeness, but after a few tweaks we had people vaguely nodding their heads and pretending to be in a rush just to avoid contact with our field operatives. Now, we’ve reached the point where anyone wearing the uniform is effectively invisible.”

This breakthrough follows extensive and controversial testing of pamphlets and sweepstakes initiatives overseas. These operations have been so successful at pacifying and distressing enemy combatants that their morality has been hotly contested in many public forums for debate. Prime Minister Harper addressed the subject briefly this Monday.

“Uh, sorry. I’m in a rush right now. I should really get going. I’ll definitely stop to talk about this the next time though. I’ve actually donated before, in fact.”