December 2015 was Ron Suprun’s last month as the incumbent Godiva’s Crown, and as the torch is passed on, we at the Toike felt it was time for some answers. The following interview gives the responses Ron provided to some of the more controversial questions that the Engineering community has been dying to ask since last year. We apologize if the responses cause any discomfort.

Tell me about yourself, in terms of your relationship with the Dark Lord Sithrak.

Oh we had a thing one time, it wasn’t anything major.

Would you rather have your body found on a pile of sex toys or a pile of drugs?

Huh, I’ve never thought about that! I guess since I woke up covered in methamphetamines this morning, I’d have to say sex toys. Gotta change things up once in a while, you know?

What’s the place in a 2 km radius of SF that you’d most like to visit?

Well, I haven’t been to the dumpster out back in a while. It’s about time I visited home again.

Favourite flavour of cott soda?

Cream soda, for sure. I like the pink one because it makes me feel gayer.

What’s the best part about watching grass grow?

I think it’s the moment when you breathe in the scent of nature and realize, “God, I’m so fucking lonely.” Very cathartic.

How often do you breathe?

Whenever necessary. It keeps the skin clear and the soul young.

What toaster setting do you prefer?

Medium

In pounds, how big of a bear could you kill with only your hands?

I’m not really much of a fighter; I’m more of a lover. Except for the one time I ran over a pigeon with my bike. That was pretty gruesome.

Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you’re a cop.

No comment.

Using only ingredients found in Hard Hat, what would you make as a five-star meal for Gordon Ramsay?

I’ve heard that the silverfish that you can find crawling around the floor are actually considered a delicacy in some countries!

Would you like fries with that?

Always.

If you had to choose between a night with Will Merrick, and winning the lottery, what kind of car would you buy with the money?

You can’t just assume I’d choose winning the lottery; Will’s a great guy! I’d get a Tesla Model S, though.

Cash or credit?

You mean you won’t take my dowry of three and a half goats?

2 trains leave Pittsburgh at 14:00 hours. Train A is travelling at 23 km/h in an eastward direction, while train B is travelling at 65 km/h but stopping every 23.78 km for 3478 s. Why don’t my parents love me?

How am I supposed to answer that?? You didn’t give me the direction that train B is travelling in. I need to plug that in the formula!