Famed deadline-hater George R. R. Martin has officially confirmed that the long-awaited Half-Life 3 will be released in the coming months. Martin hasn’t specified exactly when the release will be; only that it will be soon, and that the game will be everything that fans were hoping for.
Up to 3 million fans are ecstatic, based their responses to 3 media outlets thus far. Some say they have been eagerly anticipating the release for more years than it would take to slowly knaw away 3 crowbars with only one’s teeth.
Martin elaborated on the surprising new situation, explaining that there had been an agreement that he should take over Half-Life, and throwing moderate shade at Valve for their inability to count to 3. He later deliberately downplayed his own struggles with counting to numbers greater than 5.