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Hot Box Prices Reach All-Time High

The price of boxes on the open market has continued to skyrocket, finishing 4.20% above their opening price since just last week.

“Boxes are hot right now, ” said Blaise D’ete, a foremost expert in the field. “And hot box prices mean that there’s an increasing demand for anything you can put in those boxes. Doritos, vaporizers, you name it. ”

The rising prices come at an opportune time for the City of Toronto’s homeless population, who have seen a marked increase in overall happiness and decrease in stress due in no small part to the increased value of their real estate.

“it felt like my box’s value would stay at stoned-, I mean rock bottom forever,” said one such box-dwelling denizen, who preferred to stay unnamed. “Now that my box is a hot commodity, visitors keep popping up every day like weeds!”

However. there are still a significant number of skeptics that beech the current highs are unsustainable in the long run. Particularly, conservative homeowners, many of whom were similarly tempted when the housing market seemed poised to rise without end, only to have it crash and burn.

“Let me be blunt,” said one such homeowner. “I’ve this happen before, where at first you think everything is fine and dandy. But in an instant, you can be stuck in the middle of the night with not enough food to eat, if you haven’t planned out what with these kinds of highs exactly. The joint risk between that and that these boxes could be a gateway to far more dangerous containment apparatuses like the Fence, it’s simple not one worth taking. ”

Regardless of the long-term potential for box prices staying high, certainly in the short term you can expect things to be in the green up until annual treads typically peak right around the third week of April.