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BREAKING: Recent market movements in the entertainment sector have led r/furry to launch their very own IPO in an attempt to bait large funds into another short squeeze. A spokes-bull stated only that “they plan on closing all the stores they are yet to open” and that “they’re in the market for a used Model S with decent mileage and an attached battering ram.” When pressed for further comment, the spokes-bull only asked for Elon Musk’s address.

In unrelated news, $MSFT is trading at a 52-week high on the back of “Kinectimals,” a 2010 release which has gained unparalleled popularity for seemingly no reason. A press release detailing a VR re-release is expected to come in the following weeks, with an M-rated announcement soon after.