It is an undeniable fact that Jessica Rabbit is the sexiest cartoon in the history of film. Her sultry voice could knock a man out due to a lack of blood flow to the brain. Her fiery red hair would give a firefighter pause to approach her. And that body, oh my God, that body, with legs stretching all the way from the ground to the bottom of her torso and ample assets that could make your eyes jump out of their sockets and your tongue roll out of your mouth like a Froot by the Foot. In conclusion, Jessica Rabbit is undoubtedly the hottest cartoon of all time.

Are you out of your fucking mind? I admit, Jessica Rabbit has certain physical characteristics that would appeal to the more superficial viewer. However, personality-wise, Lola Bunny is by far the sexier of the two. Maybe you have a problem with a girl being able to beat you at basketball but, for someone more secure in their masculinity, Lola’s skill on the court is a huge turn-on. If looks are all you care about, Lola still gives Jessica a run for her money. Those deep green eyes dare you to come closer. The way she bites her lower lip could make lesser men run away in fear. And don’t even get me started on her legs. Jessica’s may be long but Lola’s are built for bouncing. Going up and down and up and down and up and down. All. Night. Long.

Sorry, why am I here? I agreed to come here to debate the sexiest cartoon character of all time. But this guy is out here making things weird by talking about how he wants to fuck Lola Bunny, a fucking cartoon rabbit! Is he serious about wanting to fuck a bunny?

A sexy bunny. Who can REALLY hop.

See, you’re making things weird again.

What? Jessica fucked a cartoon rabbit. Why can’t I?

HOW DARE YOU! YOU’VE TAKEN SOMETHING COMPLETELY NORMAL AND PERVERTED IT! AND I FOR ONE WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT! GOOD DAY!

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Are you just waiting fo–

I SAID GOOD DAY!