This one-time only column features the titillating discussion between the sons of former British MP Albert Percival Corningsbee III, Roginald and Richard Corningsbee from Shropshire and Nottingham respectively.
This column is brought to you by Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth II – like Queen Elizabeth I if Queen Elizabeth I, um, got busy.
Rog: Good morning, dear readers. My name is Roginald Corningsbee of Shropshire, England, and this is my half-brother Richard, uh, Corningsbee from Nottingham.
Rog: Richard, that was your cue. You were supposed to introduce yourself.
Dick: Wha’s this then?
Rog: We are supposed to discuss Parliamentary Procedure today for our friends at the Toike Oike.
Dick: Wha in the bloody hell is a fookin’ Toike Oike.
Rog: Some sort of monthly in Canada published for humour. We are supposed to have a comedic discussion about Parliamentary Procedure.
Dick: How in the bloody hell are these burks, blokes and bints havin’ a fookin’ laugh at Parliamentary Procedure.
Rog: I am not entirely sure, Richard. But our acquaintances from Canada asked us to discuss it all the same.
Dick: Who gives a flippin’ flamingo ‘bout those arses? And stop callin’ me fookin’ Richard, you gobber.
Rog: Well how would you like me to refer to you?
Dick: I s’pose I’d most like for you to bugger off fo’ good, eh?
Rog: You may be my father’s illegitimate son, but that does not mean that we are not family.
Dick: Fine, you can call me Dick if you like.
Rog: I would be amenable to that. I suppose I do like Dick.
Dick: HAHAHAHA!!! I can’t believe you fookin’ said it. You bloody muppet. HAHAHA!
Rog: I MEANT AS A NAME FOR YOU, YOU JUVENILE TWIT! Pardon my language, dear readers. This has been Roginald and Richard Corningsbee…
Rog: …discussing Parliamentary Procedure, apparently.