Tired of New Year’s Resolutions that you can’t stick to? The Toike Oike has got you covered with some great ideas!

1. Quit Facebook
2. Join Tinder
3. Lose three pounds (deal with constipation problem)
4. Lose 150 pounds (dump boyfriend)
5. Find pants – you may need your phone, keys, and wallet
6. Drink less expensive liquor
7. Learn to love keg beer
8. Make more friends…
9. …on MySpace
10. Buy a gym membership…
11. … Let someone else use it.
12. Come up with better excuses to give up on resolutions
13. Come up with better excuses to start a revolution
14. Quit smoking cigarettes
15. #YOLO420BLAZEITFORJESUS
16. Switch to 8K
17. Don’t let your dreams be dreams
18. Come up with better New Year’s resolutions for next year