This article was originally intended for the December edition of the Toike Oike.

TORON-TOIKE, ONTOIKE-IO – In a first for the University of Toronto-based satirical newspaper, a writer has submitted an article that accurately reflects the political climate and popular culture in January. Unfortunately for the anonymous contributor, their article will not be published until February, reducing the the oncepoignant piece to nothing but an obscure reference.

“Oh yeah, no, I loved it. Thought it was hilarious,” said a Toike senior staff member, “can’t wait to release this in the next few months.”

Heralded for it’s dark humour, emotionally-moving themes, and clever observations, the article was dubbed “a must read” by the Toike leadership and was billed early-on as a potential frontpage piece before it was put aside for several weeks. Currently located in the electronic junkyard named “Toike Content for Later,” directly between the “Shitty Articles with OK Premises” and “trump_ pumpkin_trumpkin.jpeg,” the well-written social commentary is drowning in the quagmire of forgotten writings.

“Yeah, man. We forget about a lot of our unused articles.”

Much to the chagrin of the unnamed writer, the January Toike is on newsstands this February March.