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White Guy in the Group Orders Medium Spice to Avoid Looking Like a Wuss

It was a Friday night like any other for Trent McDermott, a Civil Engineering student at the University of Toronto. Trent and his small, but ethnically diverse group of friends had gone out to the city’s hottest Indian-Mexican-Thai fusion restaurant to grab a bite to eat after class.

“It was a pretty steamy evening,” recalled Trent, wiping some sweat from his sunburned forehead. “It was something like 26 degrees out. We left around 6:00 and walked all the way to the restaurant on College and Spadina from Bahen.” When the group finally arrived after the lengthy journey through Toronto’s balmy streets, Trent found no relief from the sultry conditions seated elbow-to-elbow with the other customers in the bustling hotspot.

The heat was really on for Trent when his table’s smokin’ hot waitress took his order. “Raj ordered the Pad Thai Naan Bread Taco, while Wei went for the Red Curry Butter Chicken Burrito Bowl,” said Trent. “I ordered the Shrimp, Black Bean, and Corn Samosas, but I never expected the waitress to ask how spicy I wanted it.”

“He was really nervous when she asked about that,” said Trent’s concerned friend Raj. “He was definitely afraid that we were going to make fun of him for being white if he got mild… which we were, admittedly.” Eventually, Trent steeled himself and ordered Medium spice. “I had to man up and be a hero for white people everywhere,” he declared emphatically.

Unfortunately, even medium spice turned out to be a bit too piquant for Trent’s whiter-than-mayo-on-Wonder-Bread tastebuds. His other friend Wei claims Trent blazed through seven glasses of water as he struggled to eat his dinner, which in the end defeated his unacclimated palate.

Trent’s hopes of not looking like a wussbag went up in flames, but luckily, his buddies were easy on him this time around. Whether or not Trent will be as easy on his toilet after his caustic meal remains to be seen (or smelled, or heard).