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Issue: February 2016

Toike Editor Forbids Publication of Niche Joke

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Toike Oike Editor-in-Chief and local degenerate Ryan Williams recently forbid the publication of a niche joke written by one of his many slaves—er, “staff writers”. The writer, who wished to remain anonymous, wrote a news brief titled “Smogon Officially Bans Itself”, poking fun at the notoriously ban-happy online Pokémon battling community. Williams explained that the […]

Dear Miss Ogeny

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Dear Miss Ogeny, All the girls these days are so superficial and shallow. I’m a nice guy who deserves so much better – truly a white knight. I want a girl who’s not like other girls, who has real interests and hobbies. What should I do? Sincerely, Bradley Johnson   Well, Bradley, first, you’re looking […]

Doctors Discover Cabin Fever-like “Pit Sickness” in Engineering Students

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Doctors have recently discovered a cabin fever-like condition prevalent in engineering students at the University of Toronto. Named after the atrium in the Sandford Fleming Building, this so-called “Pit Fever” is a physio-psychological condition that is relatively easy to diagnose. In fact, nearly all sufferers of Pit Fever have managed to correctly diagnose themselves through […]

Iron Dragons Outed for Having No Actual Dragons

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Recent Scandal Leaves New Recruits Extremely Disappointed

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