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Issue: November 2015

D.L. Pratt Building Leaks SEM Images of Justin Bieber’s Dick

Posted on: November 9th, 2015

Talk about a news brief! Scanning electron microscope (SEM) images of Justin Bieber’s dick were recently leaked from the D.L. Pratt Building at the University of Toronto. A technician managed to snap a few high-energy images of Bieber’s carbon nanotube during a late night at the lab. The images caught the attention of some very […]

Dear Miss Ogeny #2

Posted on: November 9th, 2015

Dear Miss Ogeny, There’s this really hot girl in my APS tutorial, and I kinda want to ask her out. But I’m legit terrified of being rejected. But I also think she’s into me? But also not… I’m not about these blurred lines. How can I know for sure if she likes me? HELP. Robin […]

Local Rapper Signs Drake

Posted on: November 9th, 2015

In an unusual role-reversal, Drake has been signed by local rapper (and now producer) Dolla Dank$, a Ryerson University student during daylight hours. Sources say that Drake has already begun recording his next mixtape at Dank$’s studio in the heart of downtown Toronto. “Man, we got top o’ da line shit up in here, man,” […]

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