Toike Oike Logo

Issue: November 2016

Glass Ceiling Turns Out to be Made of Plexiglass, Does not Shatter

Posted on: November 10th, 2016

Reports from earlier this week confirm that the ceiling everyone had assumed to be glass is in fact constructed out of plexiglass, a material much less brittle and more resistant to shattering. Though equally transparent and lustrous, the acrylic sheet that makes up the ceiling did not do more than bump up and down slightly […]

Clinton wins 2016 election

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

In an unusual twist, Bill Clinton, has been re-elected for a third-term as president despite having left office fifteen years ago, not having run during the election, retiring from politics and having a policy that disallows it. This is the first time since Franklin D. Roosevelt was re-elected for a third term in 1940 (and […]

Gladys Porter Zoo welcomes new baby lowland gorilla: Harambe

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

September 1999 Visitors and animal enthusiasts have been elated to visit the Gladys Porter Zoo after the birth of a rare and endangered lowland gorilla. Born in May, the baby gorilla has been named Harambe and will be part of the zoo’s “Gorilla World” sanctuary. Harambe belongs to a critically endangered species of gorilla that […]

James Cameron’s “Titanic” Review

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

November 1997 Okay dude, let’s be real here: James Cameron’s new movie, Titanic, is the BOMB. It’s dank. A timeless classic. Full stop. End of story. It’s the type of dope flick you’d show to your kids when you’re old in, like, 2020, and they’d still gawk at the special effects. The soundtrack is totally […]

MS Paintsy

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

In a Toike Oike exclusive, British artist Banksy recently opened up about his humble beginnings before he became internationally recognized for his guerilla-style graffiti stencils. “I started on MS Paint,” he explained, “with the dinky blue graffiti can and a mouse that was bloody hard to control. Christ.” Microsoft Paint, or MS Paint, reached the […]

Newly Elected Vladimir Putin Shining Beacon of Hope for New Russia

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

December 1999 After a long century of hardship and struggle, hope is finally blooming for the people of the Russian Federation with the ascension of reformer Vladimir Putin to the presidency. Under the oppression of the Soviet regime, the people of Russia had to contend with political restrictions, a wide-reaching state-surveillance apparatus, and a general […]

Pokémon Review

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

February 1996 Soon to hit the shelves is Nintendo’s newest game, Pokémons. In this game, you go around and explore the Kanto region, which is largely inhabited by creatures called Pokémons. You catch the Pokémons using Poké Balls, train them, and then do battle against other trainers with the ultimate goal of becoming the best […]

Porn Executives Dubious of New “World Wide Web” Tool

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

March 1992 As many speculate on the impacts of the World Wide Web, a computer data storage tool accessible over continental distances, many industry experts are excited about the possibilities. This, however, does not appear to apply to the adult film sector, given the underwhelming reactions of pornography directors and producers when asked by the […]

Prof posts midterm study tips on Blackboard

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

U of T is known for its rigorous and difficult tests, and engineering is no exception. However, the students of a 2nd year ECE calculus course were not expecting what they received on a Blackboard announcement regarding their midterm details. Normally, such announcements would include chapters which will be covered on the test, along with […]

Professors Crack Down on Tamagotchis in Class; Students Fire Back

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

September 1996 Students at U of T report a tightening of policy in regards to Tamagotchi use in lectures and are fighting back against letting professors limit their pixel pet love to out-of-class hours. “It’s devastating to get back from a long day of lectures and see your rad little dude or dudette lying on […]

Next Page »