Toike Oike Logo

Issue: November 2016

The advantages of slipping into a coma

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

It’s remarkable, really, what a little sleep can do for brain power. At least, that’s what Balzac resident Jack Winkle has claimed since coming out of his coma last Friday evening. Winkle was discovered in the local Picture Butte cinema in December of 1990, and is thought to have been turned comatose from exposure to […]

FAA bans Nokia phones on commercial flights

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

March 1998 Cell phones–they have only recently become popular with the general public, despite still looking like bricks. A few years ago, the mere concept of having a phone you could carry around anywhere with you would have been absurd. Recently, however, this incredible concept has experienced a rather turbulent start. It all started on […]

Economists predict smooth sailing through 2008

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

December 1999 From the very tops of the towers of Wall Street down to the roofs of American homes, everyone is feeling the boon of this economic surge that has shown no sign of slowing down. Local homeowners have seen unprecedented returns on their properties and, as one member of the community put it, are […]

All-Star Complex Rampant Amongst Prepubescents of the Nation

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

March 1999 Citing greats such as Tony Hawk, Marky Mark, and one-time NBA All-Star Kobe Bryant, local thirteen-year-old badass and San Jose native Chris Simons has declared that he would like to get his game on and go play. This is the latest in a long line of public declarations on his online blog titled […]

Quiz: Are you 90?

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

Questions: You were born between 1916-1926 [10 pts] You remember when the average yearly wage was around $1,500 [5 pts] Lou Gehrig will always be your favourite baseball player [7 pts] You know that The Wizard of Oz was the first time science discovered colours [8 pts] Jazz is still the Devil’s Music [666 pts] […]

10 things only 90s kids will remember

Posted on: November 8th, 2016

Razor scooters: Still the most efficient way to get around, they would make campus travel so much easier. If only they were cool… Jerry Springer: Others may disagree, but you know that this show was the height of culture, giving the audience and viewers a literal front row seat to the human condition in its […]

« Previous Page