In a press release last Tuesday, the Witch-King, the Lich King, and the King of the Wild Hunt announced the formation of their new rock supergroup Witch Lich Hunt. Eredin, the King of the Wild Hunt, will provide vocals and bass, while the Lich King Arthas and the Witch-King of Angmar, Black Captain, Lord of the Nazgûl will play guitar and drums, respectively.
Fans of the trio were so excited they thought they had triple vision, but no, it was all too real. “We just, like, met at a bad guy convention the other day and I thought I was looking at two mirrors. But no, it was just these two handsome fellas.” said Eredin.
“When we got to talking,” added the Witch-King, “I feel like we really just clicked, you know? I liked their taste in heavy, black, spiked armour and helmets that make your eyes glow. Plus, who wouldn’t respect a guy with armies of mindless undead minions?” The other two evildoers nodded emphatically at the part about undead armies.
After the three were crushingly defeated by their respective adversaries, they found themselves lacking purpose in life. “Yeah, it sucks to get beat by a housekeep,” muttered the Witch-King, “especially when she pulls a one-liner out on you like that. Just throws salt in the wound, you know what I mean? So I was kind of lost after that.” The other two recalled their own deaths at the hands of an old man and like forty nerds living in their moms’ basements.
“I didn’t just lose,” added Arthas, “I was replaced by one of the good guys! Can you believe that? He was bald too! Don’t they know bad guys have to have luscious hair?” he cried, pointing at his silky smooth white locks. “I had to play Hearthstone to make ends meet for a while after that nonsense!”
Fans of edgy bad guys can expect Witch Lich Hunt’s first album to drop sometime in October. Themes in their songs will include thrones, oversized swords, skulls, and how much they hate Eowyn/Bolvar and Tirion/Geralt. Their first conquest on their international tour will be Thunder Bay, Ontario.
