It seems like all the chatter is about the best places to “do the dirty” on the lovely campus of UofT. It has come to my attention that this is a harsh injustice to all of the places that might not be the best places to “get it on.” Functionality isn’t everything people! Keep on reading to learn all about the worst places on campus to “knock boots,” and why they should still be considered very legitimate options when choosing a place to “boink”.

The Blue Food Truck

This may seem like an inconvenient location to “have coitus.” Sure, I get it, there might be limited space. However, have you even thought about the opportunities that the Blue Food Truck offers? Imagine you find yourself “getting busy” somewhere that isn’t the Blue Food Truck, and suddenly you’re hankering for some fries. What do you think you’re going to do if you aren’t in the Blue Food Truck? Starve. You will starve.

The Paint Sink In The Pit

Right now you may be thinking “wow, that is a terrible location to ‘nail.’” I believe that what I’m about to say will convince you otherwise. The paint sink in the Pit has so much to offer. Have you ever thought about putting whipped cream all over your pal before you “batter the corndog”? Maybe next time if you “bump uglies” in the paint sink, you’ll accidentally get so much paint and ramen noodles on the both of you that it’ll be even better than any whipped cream experience. Need I say more?

Engineering Stores

Absolutely absurd! I know. It may seem that way, it’s a very public space, a respectable business, there isn’t very much room in there, there are so many things that might get knocked over, and the list just goes on! But don’t forget about all the benefits! There’s a convenient cage-thing that covers the windows for privacy, and it’s really not that hard to just hop over the counter to get in even if you aren’t an employee! And what a story to tell that you’ve done some “hanky panky” in a place where no one else would dare!

The Exam Centre

I know, I know. Seems like an inconvenient location. But have you ever experience an exam where you just wanted to be doing anything other than writing it? I know I have. Wouldn’t it just be perfect to find a partner and say “screw this exam, let’s screw!” Heck ya it would! Therefore the Exam Centre is the perfect place to “exchange bodily fluids”.