Do vampires eat flesh? I don’t actually know. But what I do know is that, according to Science Magazine, the human body contains around 125,000 calories. It is important to isolate the body parts which contain these calories in order to ensure an efficient and nutritious diet, so I have taken the time to provide a guide for all of you prospective supernatural creatures.

Skin – edible

Eyeball – edible

Ear – edible

Nose – edible

Hair – edible

Teeth – edible

Lips – edible

Tongue – edible

Uvula – edible

Vocal cords – edible

Neck – edible

Esophagus – edible

Brain – edible (you will get very sick though)

Skull – edible

Jaws – edible

Shoulder blades – edible

Nerves – edible

Blood vessels – edible

Triceps – edible

Lungs – edible

Ribs – edible

Stomach – edible

Spinal cord – edible

Spine – edible

Nipples – edible

Biceps – edible

Forearms – edible

Fingernails – edible

Knuckles – edible (however echidnas are a protected species in Australia and you will be arrested for eating one)

Fingers – edible

Wrists – edible

Elbows – edible

Liver – edible

Gallbladder – edible

Small intestines – edible

Large intestines – edible

Kidneys – edible

Pancreas – edible

Spleen – edible

Rectum – edible

Bladder – edible

Abs – edible

Pelvis – edible

Glutes – edible

Femurs – edible

Quads – edible

Hamstrings – edible

Knees – edible

Calves – edible

Shins – edible

Toes – edible

Heels – edible