TORONTAIL, ONTERRIERO—Dogs of all ages have taken to King’s Farm to make their barks heard to the Government of Onterriero (for those that failed civics, the government is led by pigs, and consists of 124 Members of Porcine Parliament, or MPPs). 

The dogs are currently protesting to enshrine their God (Dog?) given right to be able to chase cats. With cats quickly gaining popularity due to their overwhelming cuteness, dogs across the city are worried that their position as “a pig’s best friend” is in jeopardy, and the widespread preference for cats will end their cat-chasing fun.  

“It’s genuinely howl-i-fying,” one German Shepherd admitted. “The cats have completely taken over the mainstream media, and I can only get my information from Dog News now.” While it is a scientific fact that cats have become more popular on Reddit (see r/OneOrangeBraincell, r/Cats) and Instagram (see @kittyexplains for hundreds of “Explained by Cats” reels), there is no evidence of any anti-dog bias on these platforms. 

It should be noted that last year, dogs and cats briefly reunited under a pig named Donald’s offhand claim “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats,” which led members of both cat and dog communities alike to fear for their lives. However, this unity was short-lived, as dogs quickly became obsessed with the “rise” of cats and worried about preserving their own superiority over them. 

At this point, it remains unclear whether or not dogs will be able to continue their cat chasing antics into the future, although given the current MPPs inability to pass any legislation that benefits their constituents, it seems unlikely the dogs will have their way.