A farmer in Southern Ontario recently announced his discovery of a new vegetable, the wikileek. Grown only in a special type of manure believed to be bull shit, the wikileek is said to be the next superfood with hipsters and health nuts (which have thus far been difficult to distinguish) buying out entire stocks of wikileeks at Whole Foods Markets. Conspiracy theorists claim that the farmer is full of beans. One theory links the farmer to several GMO companies and aliens, while another theory brings into question the other sorts of plants this farmer may have been growing and/or consuming, setting the wikileek’s positive public image ablaze both figuratively and literally.

The Toike’s resident foodie Lyrus Cau was quick to jump on the wikileek craze, putting together a very special wikileek recipe just for our readers:

Cream of Wikileeks Soup

4 wikileeks
1L chicken broth
2 sticks celery
2 cups [REDACTED]
1 onion
1 cup heavy cream
4 bay leaves

Dice and sautée onions, carrots, and celery until transparent. Add chicken broth and [REDACTED] and bring to a boil. Add chopped wikileeks and bay leaves. Season to taste. Remove bay leaves and blend, adding heavy cream and letting simmer until you’re suspicious about whether or not it is done cooking. Perfect for serving at hackathons and trolling the deep web.