EngSci student Dana Scully recently discovered that her boyfriend, Trent Acklepron, is actually an alien. This was disclosed to The Toike Oike during a meeting in EngCom, which she mistook for her psychiatrist’s office.

Often clad in long velvet robes and red slippers, Trent has been seen fraternizing with engineers in the Pit ever since he started dating Dana in January. Even as his academic workload picked up, Trent remained a supportive boyfriend and would often accompany her to Suds on Fridays. “I mean, he was just a regular dude,” the Suds managers commented, “and we were always a little envious of all his pustules and vibrant green complexion. Rumour has it he’s got a long… tentacle, too.”

Dana last saw Trent yesterday afternoon buying a chocolate chip cookie, which later turned out to be a raisin cookie, much to her chagrin. Shortly after, Trent announced that he was “leaving Earth for no raisin” before flying away in his DeLorean DMC-12, which was without a licence plate (and by definition “unidentified”).

“I’m going to miss Trent,” Dana confessed. “There’s nothing quite like having a comforting claw holding your hand and a soothing voice in your head as you finish your Praxis assignment.”