Howdy everyone! I reckon it’s time for another review in my series on Cowboy Culture. For the past few weeks, I’ve been wearin’ a 10 Gallon Hat from Stetson to get a feel for why it’s such a popular article of clothin’ among farmhands, ranchers and cowboys. And I have to say that I’m rather disappointed with my experience.

Let’s start with the look of the hat. I’ve been wearin’ a hot pink cowboy hat for nearly a month and, I’ve gotta say, I’ve noticed I’m turnin’ more heads than I used to. Folks are walking into walls when I walk down the streets. I can’t begin to describe the rush I got when wearing that hat, the pure ecstasy of all eyes being on me and my hat. A feeling I may one day try in vain to replicate with recreational and excessive drug use…The hat looks cooler than an iced glass of Sarsaparilla after a hot Summer day of herdin’ cattle.

Let’s move on to the fit of the hat. I was afeared of gettin’ the wrong size hat, so I bought one of each size. Well, I dickered with the salesman until he gave me one of each size for the price of a large. As expected, the small fit like a corset on a cow and the large kept on dropping over my eyes, makin’ me blind as a bat in a sandstorm. Then, there was the medium. It was a little tight but stayed on real well. I reckon I could’ve taken a shot to the hat without it flyin’ off, which is just about perfect for dealin’ with rustlers in the brush.

But even though it fit pretty darn nice, I gotta take away points for false advertisin’ on the part of that dirty ole snake oil salesman. Somethin’ didn’t feel right about the hat. I started pourin’ water into the large hat and my suspicion was right. I’d barely gotten to the third gallon of water when the hat overflowed.

So, there you have it, folks. They may look good. Great even! They may get people to finally notice you in a way that you’ve only dreamt of for years and years as you quietly drifted through life, loneliness eating away at you day after day…but 10 Gallon Hats ain’t what they claim to be. And this reviewer won’t condone such brazen false advertising.