Dan Rivers is an ordinary man. He has a wife, Sarah, and two kids, Isabelle and Dan Jr. Like many Canadians, Dan starts his morning off with a shower, a shave, and a steaming cup of joe. Then, in his 2013 Toyota Prius, Dan heads off to his work—as a local pirate.
“It’s tough business, being a pirate,” said Dan as we followed him on his commute. On the outside, Dan doesn’t seem any different from any other middle class Canadian. But Dan is faced with discrimination on a daily basis, just for being a pirate. “People say lots of mean things. ‘Scurvy dog’ is just one of the names I get called. I get insults about my uniform, too.”
Dan wears proper pirate attire to work, including an eyepatch, peg leg, hook, and (of course), his company’s pirate hat. “Not all pirate hats have the Jolly Roger. More often, you’ll see company logos on pirate hats,” mentioned Dan. In fact, the Jolly Roger was once Blackbeard’s company logo. His was one of the biggest in history, and still exists today under the moniker Apple Inc.
Arriving at work, Dan climbs aboard his ship, which is anchored at his city’s harbour. The crew is more diverse than many would imagine, with men and women of all different backgrounds chatting and working together. Janet Corina quit her job as a middle manager to work as a pirate. “Middle management was so boring,” said Janet, who worked for a consulting company after majoring in business at Harvard. “I find I’m much happier working here on the fo’c’s’le, and our captain is always giving me feedback and opportunities to rise up in the crew.” Unlike in other industries, all pirates are paid equally since booty is shared. Goodbye, wage gap!
“Contrary to what many believe, none of us have scurvy, thanks to our employee benefits. Some pirates also have guide parrots, which is why you’ll see them on people’s shoulders,” explained Dan. “And we don’t practice walking the plank or keelhauling anymore,” he added. Despite this, a survey conducted last year showed that 69% of Canadians believe that pirates still engage in these barbaric practices.
Recently, pirates have been stepping up to combat such stereotypes. Dan and Janet are both card-carrying members of Pirates Are People (PAP), one of the largest groups with the goal of raising awareness about pirate stereotypes. Conservative nautical groups have attempted to smear PAP, but its support continues to grow. “We’re gaining momentum, but we still have some rough seas ahead of us,” Dan cautioned.
After hours of trafficking Gucci handbags and spices, Dan drives home to the family, who are excited as ever to see him. Sheathing his cutlass and changing into sweats, Dan ends his day by cuddling up with his family to watch their favourite movie: Peter Pan.
