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Beastars is the Best Anime, Screw You Attack On Titan Fans

I mean, come on, 44% of furries consider themselves to be anime fans – a weeb was bound to come out from the lurking shadows of degeneracy for this issue. But this is an absolutely serious topic. Ever since (spoiler alert) Eren went on a chomp rampage, the anime community has somehow forgotten their true origins of furry-hood. Suddenly, we all forgot about Legosi and Louis and god, Tem. How could we forget Tem. Such a sweet alpaca, gone too soon. So young and, in the immortal words of our favorite male wolf, so “soft.” 

To catch all you traitors up to speed, here’s the rundown: Beastars is an adult Zootopia, with ye good ole cultural divide between carnivores (who are seen as lusty kinksters) and herbivores (closeted lusty kinksters). The story is set in a high school, and follows the life of a young wolf named Legosi. His innocent high school life is shaken when a fellow member of the drama club and alpaca, whose president is an alpha male deer (daddy), gets brutally murdered (the alpaca, not the deer). This murder sets a tone of distrust from herbivores to carnivores, and Legosi, soft boi supreme, is caught in the middle of a moral crisis: should he side with his kind, or stand up to defend the weak? Thankfully this moral dilemma is quickly resolved when he meets an upper year tittyful bunny, Haru, who is seemingly not afraid of him, despite the fact he secretly tried to eat her in a lust-predatory craze and she is very much afraid of this pubescent wolf who is twice her size. I’m serious, her head reaches his WAIST. A few garden scenes and attempted blowjob later, the story suddenly becomes a love triangle between Legosi, Haru, and Louis, the deer president of the drama club (also twice Haru’s size). Drama ensues. 

If that summary wasn’t enough to convince you that this is the best anime of the century, here is an itemized list of why it is, in fact, the GOAT (ha!):

  1. Good ass opening song – especially season 2. The artist’s songs are popular on TikTok, which might make you think her songs are trash because TikTok is cancerous, but just, I mean, just go listen to the openings. Do it. I dare you. 
  2. Sexy hands- not paws don’t worry. 
  3. Actual smut, for all you scurrying little furries. Well, actual smutty intentions. And isn’t it intriguing, at the every least, to the engineering community, to find out the physics behind how a 105 cm bunny and a 185 cm grownass wolf/deer can, you know, do it? For science. 
  4. Zootopia but longer. Okay, so the tigers in this one aren’t as sexy, BUT this is easily remedied by the fact that the herbivores are 100 times sexier than in Zootopia. Louis the deer is absolutely hot, and there is this scarred panda (yes a PANDA) with such a deep voice and just, ahh~
  5. Touches on social constructs with classes and hierarchy and speciesism, so it’s educational too, okay! 
  6. Tackles the wolf-bunny stereotypes and dynamics, but makes it kinky. 
  7. Character development! Lots of it. Especially for socially anxious sinnamon roll Legosi. What a guy, what a wolf. 
  8. Like, okay, did you not wonder how carnivores ate meat in Zootopia? How a seemingly peaceful and cute society truly functions? Two words: Black Market, baby. From deer meat trade to herbivores selling their bodies in every way to survive, this is a touching narrative on survival and the moral ambiguities of how much you’re willing to risk for a chance at true freedom. 
  9. It’s called Beastars. Come on. They’re stars. Idols, if you will. 

Does any other anime – nay, cinematic piece offer this amount of versatility, of depth, of pure unadulterated shameless furry kink? Is anything as unabashedly proud to say, yes, I am a furry and yes, I am aroused by the sight of a 3 ft tall bunny?  This brazen confidence alone is enough to make Beastars rise to the very top. Yet, it doesn’t stop there. Offering you a vast variety of characters, of psychologies and of intricate relationships, this anime will have you weeping, laughing and well, feeling LOTS of things. Can any other claim to invoke such range of emotion from the viewer? No. I didn’t think so. So screw you, Attack on Titan fans. And any other fans, too.