OHHHH BOYYYYYSYSYYSYSYSY FOLKSSSSS,
Welcome to another article of “Random Recipes inspired by the Toike Theme that might work, but like also I have not experimented in any way so with this warning if your house burns down you can’t sue us because the warning is literally in the title of the series.” This week we’re doing Vampire Theme!! What are vampires known for? Blood. Imagine cutting into a dessert and blood comes streaming out, that’s what we’re making today: Blood Red Velvet Lava Cake!! This recipe was made for similar reasons as graham crackers: to resist masturbation and physical desires (that is a real fact about graham crackers, Look it Up!). Anyways yeah, Twilight got me horny!! So in case you’re reading Twilight (or other sexy vampire books), I’ll give you the recipe!!
Ingredients:
- 6 ½ (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
- ½ cup butter, cut into 8 pieces
- 3 large eggs, room temperature
- ⅓ cup white sugar
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 4 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
- 3 pinches of salt
- 1 cup of PURE Red 40
Directions:
- Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Grease and flour four 15 ounce ramekins
- Place chocolate and butter in the top of a double boiler over simmering water. Stir frequently, scraping down the sides with a rubber spatula to avoid scorching, until chocolate is melted, (prolly an eternity lets be honest)
- Combine eggs, sugar and half of your red 40 in a large bowl; beat with an electric mixer until there’s enough red 40 splatter in your kitchen that it looks like a murder scene, and also thick. Then mix in melted chocolate, flour, cocoa powder, all pinches of salt and the rest of the red 40 until combined (and a second murder over your kitchen). Pour batter into the prepared ramekins and place on a baking tray.
- Bake in the preheated oven until the sides are set but the middle is still jiggly, 10 to 13 ish minutes (WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T TRY TO DO THE TOOTHPICK TEST, IF YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY, YOU’RE A DUMBASS).
- Let cool for 5 minutes.
