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Can We Fix It? (No, We Can’t)

Couples therapy doesn’t always work, and it’s a sad but honest fact that Bob’s marriage is slowly dissolving. 


Sorry to ruin your childhood folks, but Wendy just doesn’t want him anymore. People lose feelings for each other, and it’s okay. Not all marriages are salvageable, and sometimes, damage just has to be done. It’s sad, but it’s life.


The poor guy’s really been through the absolute most though. Imagine putting your heart and soul into building stuff, pretending everything is okay around your coworkers (who are apparently talking machines by the way), just to come home to the woman who’s in the middle of trying to take everything from you in your impending divorce. It’s got to hurt. My heart aches for him.


Not to mention she’s trying to take away his most prized possession, the very thing that hides that sexy bald spot: his yellow hardhat. Honestly, in my opinion, who cares? He really doesn’t need it. But he whines so much about it in our daily sessions, I kind of have to at least pretend to care. It’s tough seeing a grown man cry, even if it’s over a literal hat.


It doesn’t really matter though because Wendy already sold it to brainless University of Toronto Frosh and profited greatly from the proceeds. Imagine being that much of a desperate gold-digger. Poor Bob honestly always deserved better than that bitch. She only married him for the money an engineering degree can provide, but he’s too pure to see that. Well, he also chose mechanical engineering over ECE, so all he could do was work as a glorified repairman.I can’t believe he still thinks the best of her after all she’s done. I’ll admit it – it’s pretty pathetic.


The guy really goes around chanting “Can we fix this?” after every problem, but this time he’s not going to hear a “Yes we can!” because I’m emotionally dead trying to fix their hopeless marriage. Also, I’m not sure I want to. Wendy doesn’t deserve his sexy bald spot, he should really find someone who would appreciate it more than that bitchass gold-digging lunatic. To add salt to the wound, she’s really dating FIX IT FELIX of all short ass white dudes at the moment, and their divorce isn’t even finalized! It’s all so scandalous, I feel so bad for Bob…I really hope he gets his hardhat back because realistically, he’s definitely not getting his wife back.. Felix was a patient of mine once upon a time, and I know all about his oral fixation problems. Yeah, Wendy’s never going to leave him. Trust me.


Both Felix and Bob are so obsessed with fixing things though, what type of weird fix-me kink does Wendy have? If she’s hoping that these guys can somehow fix that broken girl from her past that’s inside of her, she’s really in for some major disappointment. No matter how many times Felix bonks her with his magic hammer, it’s not going to work…no wonder she probably resorted to getting hammered daily instead. Felix’s oral fixation problems though? That she can really use to her benefit, I’m sure.


However, since Wendy’s out of the picture now…I do wonder if Bob and that wonderful sexy bald spot could add some of their spiciness to my deserving life…hmm.. ;)