OHHHH BOOOYYYYYY FOLKS,
As we approach on the 2T5-2T6 Skule Year, I wanted to start a new series: “Random Recipes inspired by the Toike Theme that might work, but like also I have not experimented with in any way so with this warning if you house burns down you can’t sue us because the warning is literally in the title of the series”. That’s right, the name is long, and recipes might taste good, so come one, come all!! Today, I was inspired to give a recipe inspired by the greatest arcade game of all: Super Mario, and what is Mario known for? Fireballs. So based on that heat, we’re making extra spicy ginger cookies.

I first made this recipe, out of complete spite for someone who wrecked me in Street Fighter as a “reward”, so I thought I’d give you the recipe too!!

Ingredients:

• 1 ½ cups softened butter (who fucking cares if its salted or not)
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• ½ cup Molasses
• 2 eggs
• 4 cups All-Purpose flour
• 4 teaspoons baking soda
• ¼ cup ground ginger
• ¼ cup ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon ground cloves
• quite frankly as much salt as you want
• 15 habanero Peppers

Steps:

1. Blend your habaneros, ginger, cinnamon, salt and cloves in a food processor
2. Pour the super spicy spice blend into a bowl with flour and baking soda
3. In a separate bowl, cream butter and the sugars, now most recipes would tell you to use a stand or hand mixer, but not this one. Beat it by hand you coward, and think about all those that have wronged you in the past, and smile while you revel in the fact that you’re about to GET. THEM. BACK. FOR. WHAT. THEY’VE. DONE.
4. As you are beating the hell out of the butter mixture, add in your molasses (to keep your rage up, it is important to be incredibly frustrated at the fact that molasses is a pain in the fucking ass to get out of a measuring cup) and eggs (I cannot stress the sheer importance of accidentally getting a shell into the mixture, again this keeps the rage high)
5. Add the dry mixture into the other mixture, and make sure everything is evenly incorporated (if it’s not properly incorporated, some of your enemies may not get all of the spice)
6. Preheat Oven to 350 F, or more if you’re feeling extra fire in your soul today (for legal reasons we cannot recommend this, if your house burns down as a result of going higher than 350 F, we are not liable for your sheer dumb-assery)
7. Roll out dough into balls (hehe), feel free to roll these balls in sugar, or don’t, it’s your life, and your revenge
8. Bake for 8-10 minutes, they’ll crack on the top!!
9. ENJOY… OR FEED THEM TO YOUR ENEMIES!!!