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For the agriculturally impaired

Sleep. I need sleep. But I cannot rest until I determine which farm animal would be the best service animal. 

Sheep. These woolly bastards are good for nothing. Do NOT let them into your home.

Chicken.  Chicken’s beaks are very useful for our purposes. They are sharp enough to cut through lettuce (to make a nice healthy salad), and strong enough to push the “walk” button at the stoplight. Chickens are valiant companions and they will die for you without hesitation.

Pig.  “Oink, Oink, Oink”. Shut up, pig. 

Cow. Cows make milk. “So what”, you may ask. Well, idiot, milk taste good and is yummy. 

Goat. Hearing-impaired readers fear not! Goats have a great sense of rhythm, so if you’d like to listen to music, goats will head-butt you in time with the beat. Remember to wear thick pants!

Horse. Horses mouths are great for keeping things warm, like a thermos. You can also ride them in the bike lane, which is great because normally you need a bike to be in the bike lane.

Llama. Contrary to popular belief, llamas are kind and gentle creatures. They have a keen memory and can outperform a golden retriever in most typical service animal tasks. They also have really long necks which could be useful I guess.

Frog. There are probably some frogs on farms right? Anyways, these guys can HOP.

Okay so this hasn’t really been conclusive. I’d say it’s a tie between the llama and the frog (they can really HOP). I hope this has helped!