The University of Toronto has announced a new plan to alleviate the current issue of Front Campus having an awful smell as a result of leaky sewage pipes.

Since construction for Front Campus was completed midway through the 2022-23 school year, a new problem has slowly crept up and reached a breaking point as the next school year began: a leaky pipe underneath the grass has wreaked havoc on the entire place! It smells awful, parts of the grass are constantly drenched with suspicious water, it’s just generally bad for what is supposed to be a hangout spot for students. The university administration has just revealed their plan for fixing it:  just redoing the entirety of Front Campus. AGAIN!

Prominent university officials have been raving about how “everyone loved the construction process last time we did it”, “doesn’t everyone love a gigantic ugly hole in the ground?” and “if the engineers have a pit, everyone else deserves one too”. And it’s true: the construction of the new front campus was iconic, generated lots of engagement online, encouraged tourists to sightsee the newest attraction to Toronto, allowed for lots of opportunities for white-collar AND petty crime, and more! There were literally no downsides! We should just have construction taking over Front Campus all the time!!!