When Pope Eugenius III approved the invasion of the Wends by Christendom, little did he know that he would someday break the hearts of millions of Torontonians. 

In 1147, a coalition of Germanic Christians ruthlessly slaughtered an untold number of Wends. 

Through a complicated series of terribly unfortunate events, Vince Carter became upset and demanded a trade causing many Torontonians to no longer believe in love after he left for the Nets.

Editor’s Note: The proof is simple and left as an exercise to the reader