Listen. I hear this bullshit all the time about how “you weren’t even out of diapers” or “you can’t have formed any real memories” or other stupid arguments why I can’t claim to be a 90s kid. I may only be a few months older than some of you born in 2000 babies, but you can’t even BEGIN to understand what a profound impact being born in the 90s has had in my life. Did any of you use the last two digits of your birth year on every single username and password you had to create all through grade school? I didn’t think so. Imagine deciding your insta handle would be @justinbrown00 or @britneyfields02, it just looks like you’re adding random numbers afterward. But @caseybrown99? That’s cool. 99 is a far superior number, just ask Wayne Gretzky. 

Oh and don’t forget how our teachers used to tell us how weird it was that they were going to have students born in the 2000s soon, and how that would make them feel old. God, how inconsiderate do you have to be to not escape the womb before Y2K and thus make everyone else around you feel ancient? I already feel old enough being a 2T1 and almost graduating, but the fact that I’m surrounded by infants doesn’t help much. Such a turn-off too, I’ll be chatting with a cute person at a party and eventually, somehow, their birthday will come up, and I hear the words “two thousand” and I immediately feel like I’ve been hitting on a child. Eugh.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go argue with people born in 1998 about how a year difference is somehow magically less notable when it applies to people born in the same decade.