Connoisseurs of adult entertainment will be pleased to discover that a new entertainment studio has recently opened its doors, and is looking to make its mark on the industry.

Crystal Productions specializes in a unique market: materials science. But non-MSEs needn’t worry – the stars have made sure that their films are appealing to even the most clueless humanities major. Some of their more popular videos thus far include Missionary Impossible: Simple Cubic, starring Violet Gentian, and Hunter Ball Peens Hot Babe with his Nano-Structured Surface, starring Ruby A. Lumina and Hunter Steel. The studio is hoping their more niche videos, like Twink Student Plays with Teacher’s Buckyballs During APS169 and Kinky Twins Perform Hardness Test on Unsuspecting Engineering Student will bring more traffic to their site and allow them to expand their market further.

Adult stars have said that working with the studio is almost as fun as precipitation hardening for the first time. “We really like that they based the company off of signature moves: the body-centred cubic, and the face-centred cubic,” explained Perry Ovskite, who stars in Her First Time Surface Grinding and the soon-to-be-classic compilation Randy’s Adventures in Necking. “Yeah, we’re really hoping to feature some precision ball milling and stuff in future videos,” Ovskite’s costar Anna Timony (known for her amazing cleavage patterns) revealed. Director Mica Rockwell hopes to expand on the unit cell market as well. He’s already got a title in mind: After Strain Hardening for Hours, Jackson Releases.

When asked how the idea for Crystal Productions came about, producer Ava Gadro gave us an insight into the studio’s creation. “The industry was really in a rut,” Gadro said. “We were looking to revitalize it – make it a little flashier, like brighter than backscattered electrons in an SEM, y’know? And we thought ‘what’s sexier than overly extended metaphors? Nothing, that’s what.’ And bam – we had a porn – I  mean, adult entertainment studio.”

So whether you’d rather watch Candy’s First College Experience, Guy Brings Teen to Twist Boundary, or Tiffany Tries Roll-Bonding, the stars of Crystal Productions have you covered.

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