December 1999

After a long century of hardship and struggle, hope is finally blooming for the people of the Russian Federation with the ascension of reformer Vladimir Putin to the presidency.

Under the oppression of the Soviet regime, the people of Russia had to contend with political restrictions, a wide-reaching state-surveillance apparatus, and a general absence of human rights. However under Putin, liberalisation and new freedoms for the people of Russia are expected.

“We expect big things from President Putin,” LGBTQ activist Olga Mihailova (formerly Oleg) announced. “For too long, the LGBTQ community has not even been allowed to speak about matters important to us. The time is ripe for us to be able to speak out.”

Even opposition politicians have high expectations. “With Yeltsin gone, we know that the term limit system works,” announced Russian Pirate Party leader Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov. “I fully expect that Russian democracy shall be fully prepared to transfer administrations when Mr. Putin leaves office in either 2004 or 2008.”

Also prevalent during the Soviet reign was a globally-spanning system of military domination, with the Soviets internationally notorious for the oppression of smaller nations. This shall no longer be the norm, as Putin has promised to guarantee the independence of former Soviet satellites. He has announced that he is currently planning for productive talks with the government of neighbouring Georgia. This shall be followed with visits to the former Crimean Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic which has since become integrated into Ukraine.

Anticipation for warm relations with Western business interests are also evident, with Pres. Putin being perceived to be on personal terms with a number of prominent American businesspeople. This is evidenced by the fact that one of the first things on Putin’s new agenda is meeting with the recently-bankrupted, yet seemingly unfazed, tycoon Donald Trump. When asked for a comment on the new administration, Mr. Trump was reported as saying, “[Putin]’s doing a great job in rebuilding the image of Russia and also rebuilding Russia period. I’m sure Russians are going to benefit, bigly, with Pres. Putin in charge. I wish our President could be more like Putin in the future, hopefully by 2016.”